Relying on Horses

Isaiah 31

"Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses..."

Egypt was strong and known for their military defense.  Having many horses and chariots meant that they had a strong military.  As Israel sought to arm themselves with what seemed like the smart thing to do - to go seek help from Egypt, God warns that they, "do not look to the Holy One of Israel or seek help from the Lord," and He reminds them that, "the Egyptians are men and not God; their horses flesh and not spirit."


Oh, how relevant this is for me right now.   I am majorly struggling with God's sovereignty.  On some level, I really do get it.  But on a much deeper, more meaningful level - the level in which I must function on a day to day basis, I do not get it at all.   Despite all that God has saved me from, the events of my life and those around me that are nothing short of miracles - I still struggle with understanding that He is in charge.  He's got this.

See, my tendency is to take control.  It's rooted in a traumatic childhood.  Some sort of protection that I developed long ago.  When things don't seem like they are working out, I panic - fight or flight kicks in.  And to save myself, I try to control the variables of the situation.

God is actively working to save me from this "horse" of control.  It's incredibly painful.  I cannot fully express how unhappy I've been feeling all of the sudden.  Just this apathy and begrudging attitude about life.  I know He is changing me - it just doesn't always feel good.  The truth is, though, that I see the clouds breaking.  That's the active part of God's word.  When I'm in the Bible, when I seek Truth, the apathy starts melting.  It's not gone, I'll admit.  But I know and believe and trust that He's not done and this is for my good.

Why do we only turn to God for help as a last resort?

What are your horses?