Psalm 119
This was reallly long... I found myself having to constantly redirect and start over as my mind would drift. That's kind of embarrassing to admit. Here I am, blessed with God's Word and I am having a hard time concentrating?!
Anyways - the first portion of today's study says to "explore your attitudes or preconceived ideas about God's Message... Be brutally honest... Think of ways you could value God's Message more and find yourself more attentive to what it has to say." So, I read the passage BEFORE I read my assignment. I'm sure it's no coincidence.
Hmmm, what are my preconceived ideas about God's Word? Off the cuff, I really do believe that "all Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness."(2 Tim. 3:16). I know it's vital to my walk with Christ. I get that. I will admit that getting in the Word sometimes feels like a chore. I think the enemy attempts to distract me with all the other million t hings that need to get done during Holden's first nap. I struggle sometimes with wanting to take a long shower or wanting to fix my hair, for once. Often, I do my study out of obligation. But is that a bad thing, necessarily? I don't know... There are times that I have that nagging voice saying, "I don't wannnna do my study," but then, low and behold, God will WRECK me that day (in a good way). And there are days that I just do my study... I know my junk gets in the way, but I am committed to being in God's Word consistently.
I recently resigned from my job as a speech pathologist. I loved my job. And loathed it at the same time. It was extremely difficult for me to go back to work after having my baby. I felt like such a diva because I went back part time and it was still extremely hard. Like, the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I struggled with feeling guilt over not wanting to work - am I just lazy or is God calling me to do this? Admittedly, I was in the word intermittently before Holden. Some days I would get up and read a bit, some days I didn't. So when our pastor guided us to God's calling in our families lives, I quit - and I felt like I finally had time to devote some real attention to God. And honestly, I do. There is no doubt that I have changed a TON since I quit in November. (just ask my husband). I am living proof that God's Word will teach, rebuke, correct and train. And still, there are days that I don't want to do it. What a bratty attitude that is... (said in my best preteen whine) "Daddy, I know you have given me everything - literally, everything... But today, I don't wanna interact with you. Can't I just watch TV?"
No wonder He calls us children.
How could I value God's Word more? I don't know. I need to continue to call out my crappy attitude and to remain committed. I also know that I have to repent. Own my junk and confess that to God. I know that I can't change myself and innately, I am wrecked with sin. So, I have to ask Him to change me since I can't change me. The psalmist says in Psalm 119:10, "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you," and in verse 16, "I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word."
God is speaking through today's lesson, for sure. Specifically, He is reminding me of my extreme need for His guidance in my life. He is reminding me to be humble and remember that I am nothing without His direction. He is encouraging me to stay committed to Him even when it doesn't feel good.
I hope to need God like I need water to survive. The psalmist says in verse 13 that he pants for God's commands (my paraphrase). Today, I hope to need God so much that I pant for him.
The two deleting comments are me posting reponses without proofreading them. So I deleted them and tried again.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of two things.
1. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
2. "You shouldn't believe everything you tell yourself. Feelings arent facts." Rick Warren.
When the world is telling me one thing, if my mind isn't prepared, I will stray from Him and His desire to do good in my life. It is like wartime. Only the world trys to tell us it is not. Satan is so cunning in this way. The world will often please me on the surface for short time, but it is never filling. Only He can truly satisfy. I know this, to my core, but still I let the world in. That is why He came and died on a cross in the first place. We couldn't do it without Him.
I like what Rick Warren says because I believe we are all lead to believe (by the world) that our feelings our truth. If I feel it, it must be. That, though, is a lie. Our feelings (thank goodness) aren't fact. And while I know there are days I don't "feel" like getting in the word, I have to try and remember to push thru it, and just do it. God honors that committment way more that than He does us honoring ourselves and our "feelings"