Aching for Agape

Song of Songs 6-8

Love.  It's complicated, multifaceted.

I'm doing the Beth Moore study, Living Beyond Yourself, which is an in-depth look at the fruit of the Spirit.  Last week, I learned about the different kinds of love the Bible refers to.  Here is a very quick recap:

Eros - selfish love; "what can I get for myself?"; associated with sexual love

Philos - friend love; Luke 14:10, Luke 15:8-9, Luke 21:16, Luke 23:8-12; placed in high personal position; shared experiences; capable of betrayal

Agape - divine love; flows from what is right and best; not as much of a feeling as it is a response; fueled by need rather than desire; John 3:16, Galations 5:22; 1 Corinthians 13:1-3



Song of Songs 8:6 stands out to me today:
Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.  It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

My study Bible explains that seals were precious to their owners.  They wore seals in a small cylinder around their necks and used them to sign clay documents.  This scripture suggests sexual fidelity since jealousy is mentioned.

Song of Songs 6:3 also stands out:
I am my lover's and my lover is mine; he browses among the lilies.

I think these verses are so beautiful.  I am Justin's and Justin is mine.  We are faithful to each other.  Our love is strong because God has ordained it!  It can sustain through the flames.

Marriage equality has been stirring up a firestorm on social media these past few days... As usual, I have stayed quiet.  I love Jesus.  I want to show others His love.  I want people to experience the awesome freedom that I have in Christ.  I have no clue if that means I'm for or against gay marriage.  Does it matter to you if I'm for or against it?  Sharing my story matters to me.

I love that God uses my marriage to show us His dedication.  My past left a lot of scars that I think still come up from time to time.  As far back as I can remember, I looked to guys to give me a sense of self. I later learned that was "co-dependency" or "addiction to love."  I spent many of my adult years seeking out agape through eros.  It never satisfied.  I tolerated verbal and emotional abuse from one broken man to the next.  They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results.  If that's the case, I was certifiable!  Let me tell you, it felt like there was no end to the pain and emptiness of my youth.  Not knowing God's love left a hole that nothing could fill; though, I tried filling it with everything I could muster.  I guess that is why I think it's important not to judge those that don't look like "good Christians."  It wasn't that long ago that I wasn't a "good Christian."  Truth is, I'm still not.  I will never be "good."  Neither will you.  I ache for people who don't know the freedom in Jesus.  It's lonely, y'all.  If you don't know it for yourself, take it from me.  The ONLY way to peace is Him.  Otherwise, it's one drink, cigarette, hit, pill, shopping trip, late work night, relationship, gambling bet, (the list goes on and on) after another to try to fill that void!  We have to empathize and love on people.  Meet them where they are and tell them that Jesus is the way out!  But we will never have that opportunity as long as we stand on our podiums and preach down.  Relationship building is key.  Relating involves being transparent.  Relating involves loving in spite of our differences.