Words

Proverbs 16:17-33

"... Only 2 things cannot be taken back: time and words...What percentage of your conversations (over the last 24 hours) would you say was positive, encouraging, and uplifting?  What percentage was negative, discouraging, and sarcastic?"

As I recall yesterday and I play the audio tape back of my voice throughout the day, I notice a few things.  After my study, God was on the forefront of my mind.  Yesterday I prayed while in the shower and kept a prayer-versation for a couple of hours.  1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, "pray continually."  To me, this is an ongoing conversation with God in my head.  But the truth is, as I examine myself, I started to talk less and less as the day went on.  The consequences of that separation from Him meant that I sought His well less and less.  I can see how my sustenance ran out the more I began relying on myself.  I was in traffic yesterday as we went to Hobby Lobby.  I was getting so irritated with people.  It started there, I think.  Just a small irritation... Then Justin started texting me about photographers for Holden's birthday.  My irritation grew.  The texts began mounting in frustration and I remember thinking that it could easily turn into an argument.  He called while I was in Hobby Lobby and sure enough, things got heated.  At no point in this series of events did I consider God.  Eventually, things calmed down and we talked when he got home.  But my point is that my day started off with positive and encouraging words but soon thereafter turned...  um, negative.  I was less able to handle a simple miscommunication because my lifeline was getting cut off.  I imagine the necessity of talking to and seeking God is like a pipeline - a water hose, if you will.  When it's fully open, knowledge and peace and wisdom flow freely.  But as I stop talking with Him, the hose pinches off and I'm just running on fumes.  Relying on God is a second-to-second challenge!

"Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." (Psalm 119:105 ESV)

"This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it.  For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success." (Joshua 1:8 ESV)

It's more important than ever for me to be conscious of what I say because I know Holden is paying attention to everything!  What accountability children offer...  I want more than anything for him to be a lover of Christ.  I dream of him chasing Jesus above all else - above his education, above status, above money, even above love.  I want him to do amazing things for God's kingdom.  I know I am charged with training him up in the way he should go, so that even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).  What a tough job, though.  Sometimes I feel ill equipped to handle the responsibility.

"Moderation is better than muscle, self-control better than political power." Proverbs 16:32 (MSG)

Precious Father, I am broken.  Every day I experience You and receive Your blessings and every day I turn away again.  Like Paul in Romans 7:15,  "I don't understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."  I confess that right now, Lord, I feel Your Presence - but I am worried that in a matter of minutes I will turn away again.  Will You help me yield to Your Spirit today?  Will you help me receive victory?  I lay these burdens down at the foot of the cross knowing that is why Jesus died.